EULOGY BY DIANE SCHMOLKA, OFFICIANT "This web site is closed due to my health problems, and will not be updated. The project is postponed indefinitely. Unfortunately, I find it difficult to be a non confrontational activist, so the solution is a clean break from activism which is unhealthy for me. I am now enjoying taking care of my own needs, which have been on the back burner a little too long. Best wishes to all of you who supported the project, and sought to create sustainable community currencies. Terry "
This is one of the final messages Terry left us, shortly before he died. Terry, who was born July 12, 1958, indeed would find it difficult to be a non-confrontational' activist. He was totally intensely involved in everything he attempted to do. From the photographs displayed in the rooms we have just left before entering this chapel, it is obvious that not only was he very intelligent and engaging as a child and young man, he was totally engaged in whatever he was trying to accomplish.
Terry 's great intellectual capabilities gave him a marvellous sense of humour. He was very witty, and had a giddy laugh which lit up the whole room . He had some mood changes, but was open to feedback from others when it was offered.
Because working to make this world better, in that it is more just for everyone, not just a select few, he could become very frustrated when so many obstacles arose before him. His temper would erupt over some very trivial matter.
Once, when he was working under a very close deadline, and was simultaneously over his head ' with community work, his room mates heard him jumping up and down, growling and cursing over a slice of 100% carbonized toast. When they approached him about it, he became instantly apologetic, saying: "I burnt my toast, it's black!" Then he grinned and laughed his giddy laugh.
He was down on himself much of the time. He really wanted to find a life partner. He wondered what he was doing wrong, so his roommates gave him some feedback, { to which he was very keen on accepting]. This points out what complete honesty meant to him. He had great friends, because they were, [and are], people who also value complete honesty. As a result of his acceptance of their feedback, they constructed little projects for him.
One was the Food Project. As long as they shopped, prepared and served the food, he would make a little time and effort to eat it. Several of his friends became 'clothing consultants' If you gave him clothes, he'd wear them. They would sneak him flyers from clothing stores, so that he would have a guide, to enable them to shop with him more effectively. They also convinced him to splurge on new eyeglasses. He was actually a naturally handsome man. He had great facial bones, and a wonderful appearance. This was displayed especially when he smiled. Because he was trying so hard to help create a better world, he would become sad. I think he blamed himself many times, for projects which were not successful. He hardly smiled, until a few years ago, when his friends convinced him that his smile was a wonderful message for peace and light in itself.
For most of his life, he was not self-aware, but because he was so self-effacing, everyone enjoyed caring for Terry. It was one of the few ways that they had to give back to Terry so much that he gave to people, and that he would accept.
Some of us are here today, because we met Terry through one or more of the many social justice, human rights, peace and environment, futuristic and creative endeavours which he either developed , or in which he was involved.
Actually, he engaged us. If you met him once, his presence was so electrifying, so special, that you wanted to be with him for that whole project, and more.
One or two of the older friends, at first thought that Terry was too idealistic; that he wanted to change the world too quickly. However, I must admit that I have the same dreams that he had. I think that sometimes those of us who have great visions and energy to enact those aspirations for humankind, often raise the backs' of those whose nature, {although somewhat idealistic also}, are ruled by fear and cautious tenacity. to old procedures and old upper class methods of group processing and protocol. We become frustrated and they become rutted in their perceptions of us. How many of us, like Terry, 'bat our heads' against so many brick walls of our own creation? Terry had a knowledge of what a grim future it will be if we do not learn to live more generously with each other. I am sure that he attended many UNAC, PERC, and other organizational meetings where not much more than 'socially correct ' "coffe-clatch small talk" was the result. People in such groups mean well. Projects are small, partly due to lack of funding, energy and strategies for engaging many more hundreds of the public sector, needed to successfully complete them.
One of the things that Terry can continue to teach us, is that we must network much more together. He was a great listener. He listened to you as an individual. He listened to your aspirations . He believed in you. How can we in each of our social justice , peace, environment , and all other such organizations, band together at times, to support each other? How can we give each other the hugs that we need to continue this often difficult and frustrating work?
When they lived on Spadina in 1996, his friends Dianne, Michael and Matt created the Activists Soiree. It was a great success. We can perpetuate his memory by holding these pot-luck parties several times throughout the year.
When we attend committee or board meetings, we need to actively become searchlights to each other. A committee or board develops much more synergy when you develop friendships. Plan to meet with each person over and above the meeting schedules. Try to become cognisant of each person as a unique 'self', so that you can remove any prejudicial 'filters' you might have sub-consciously acquired of them at first site. Terry was a natural at this. While he had hardly any close friends, each of us who met him felt very drawn to him, because of his easy acceptance of our individuality. He always put his friends first and foremost. Dianne Murray wrote to me Monday"
"I was Terry's friend and for several years we shared a house. When I found out my pension from ODP had been cut, he offered [though he too was on assistance] to help. That was just in mid October. If I had known he was ill at the time [which he didn't tell me of at all, I would have offered to help. So even so close to the end he was still trying to help people. I believe he may have known he was not long for this world and didn't want to upset people. He sounded cheery over the last email we exchanged... and I was shocked when I heard how ill he'd been. He had a real warrior spirit and a great love of protecting people."
Kristina Makkay writes: "I have known him since 1991 and, along with Dianne, was his roommate for two years. I also worked with Terry on a number of issues, mainly Ottawa LETS. We went to protests, meetings, fantasized about unfortunate things happening to Mike Harris, and had long discussions about a number of different social issues. Memories of Terry have been in my mind since I heard the news Friday evening. I have memories of him in the mornings, with his white housecoat on, making his oatmeal for breakfast. He wasn't much of a cook, but he would stand like an engineer at the bridge of a starship and would program complicated instructions into the microwave. It was like something out of a science-fiction movie: in would go raw ingredients, and out would come a complete and perfect meal. I remember Terry on quiet weekend mornings, stroking Dianne's cat in his lap. His habit of leaving messages on our answering machine rather then leaving a note. His bright yellow jacket he wore for cycling. In the days leading up to his 39th birthday I asked him if he wanted to do anything special. He said "I suppose I should do something fun. How about a protest?" So we had protest in front of the local KFC, a company owned by Pepsi, which at the time was operating in Burma. I remember other things too. The frustration and anger he felt being up against the ignorance, apathy and arbitrariness that results in so much of the injustice in society. The way that anger sometimes came out. I remember the way he felt about himself. And how difficult it was to get close to him. No doubt, Terry will be remembered most for his tireless activism, for the many causes he brought out of relative obscurity and made them into forefront issues. He never missed a chance to do something to bring about social justice, and worked long and hard even when it seemed that no one cared. His phone would never stop ringing. Good thing he had a separate phone line. He also had an odd but painfully accurate sense of humour, with a deadpan delivery that Rick Mercer would envy. The kind of humour that could dispel tension at a meeting yet never belittle the seriousness of the issues at hand
" Jean-Marc Hachey said: "Terry meant a lot to me, we became somehow inseparable in our 9 year employer-employee relationship. I respected and loved him. He made major contributions to three editions of my book, and worked passionately on many human rights causes. I will miss him."
John Mutambirwa of Toronto comments: "His rights are my rites!"
Some of the main social action and social service activities with which Terry either created or was involved were: MAI-Not! Y2K Preparedness Canadian Crossroads International Canadian Friends of Burma Friend of the Rainforest East Timore Alert Community way and Ottawa LETS- a method and association of people who trade abilities/trades/ and goods, in lieu of cash.
Terry's memory will be cherished by his partner, DanielL Guertin, his mother, Dr. Kazimiera J. (Jean) Cottam of Nepean, sister Kathy and brother-in-law Matt of Greenwood, N.S. and niece and nephew. His many friends, associates and colleagues will always carry the flame.
In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to the Canadian Friends of Burma (145 Spruce St. Suite 206, Ottawa, Ontario K1R 6P1 (613) 237-8056, fax: (613) 563-0017, cfob@web.net)
Another fitting way to honour Terry's legacy would be to volunteer time with a human rights or environmental organization of one's choice.
There are so many tributes already to Terry, so many things that are difficult to say aloud without feeling so lost without him, that we break down. However, if we are to remember Terry, with the kind of love that he gave us, we must use all the passion that we have now for him, for each other, and for the causes which we so earnestly support. I wonder today, if any of us has taken Terry's witty command to 'wear our best class-action suit'. ...And the only 'tie' you need wear with it, is the one that binds us....