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Coincidentally, Simpsons Safari
aired in April 2001, not long after we returned to Canada. So Homer
and the family may have been in Tanzania at the same time as us, although we
never encountered them. The Simpson's Tanzania trip followed an itinerary
eerily similar to
ours, at least until they end up at a cartoon version of Jane
Goodall's chimpanzee sanctuary which is actually on the other side of
Tanzania.
I captured the relevant middle section of the episode. I'm sure the humanitarians at FOX Television won't mind.
Flight Attendant:
Please prepare for our landing in Tanzania...
I'm sorry, it is now called "New Zanzibar"
Excuse me. It is now called "Pepsi presents New Zanzibar."
Kitenge: Hello, Simpsons. Welcome to Africa. I am your
guide, Kitenge.
Lisa: Isn't that cute! A bush baby.
Kitenge: Where? Shoo! Shoo!
Oh, man, I just bought this shirt.
Kitenge: Okay, you'll be sleeping here tonight.
Marge:
On the ground?
Lisa: No, mom. (Points up)
Marge: (Looks up, way up) Oh!
Bart: Help! This mosquito net's not working.
Kitenge: No, no, you have it inside out. There.
Lisa: When do we get to see the animals?
Kitenge: In the morning, little one.
Now, good night and don't let the
bedbugs paralyze.
Bart: All right, I got another one. (Checks off warthog.)
Lisa:
Hey, you didn't see a warthog.
Bart: I'm looking at one right now.
Lisa: Mom! Bart implied I was a warthog.
Marge: Nobody's a warthog.
Bart: What about him?
Kitenge: And now we sit quietly and wait for nature to unveil herself.
Marge: (gasping) Oh, look, everybody!
Lisa: Wait, rhinos don't come from eggs.
Homer: What did you just see, Lisa?
Lisa: I know, but...
Homer: What did you just see?!
Lisa: (Looking at giraffe in hole)
Oh, now, come on.
Kitenge: Look, mother, by that tree -- cheetah.
Marge: He doesn't look so fast to me.
Kitenge: Hmm... poachers.
Lisa: That's terrible!
Homer: Now, honey, poachers are nature's way of keeping the balance.
Whenever there are so many species that people get confused and angry, a poacher
is born.
Kitenge: This is the earliest known fossil of a human being. It's over
two million years old.
Homer: (Makes rude noise) I've got more bones that that guy. If you're
trying to impress me, you've failed.
Kitenge: It's not the number of bones, sir, it's the...
Homer: You have failed!
Kitenge: The Masai chief welcomes you to his village.
Marge:
Oh, thank you. Your ground is so comfortable.
Homer: By the way, what kind of blood is this?
Kitenge: Cow.
(Masai laugh as The Simpsons do a
mass spit-take.)
Lisa: Hey, mom, look what Mbali gave me.
Bart: Hey, check it out.
Marge: Bart, I told you not to get your lip disked.
Bart: All right. Uh-oh, boh-boh.
Kitenge: That's it! Get into a frenzy! Aha!
(music and chanting)
Marge: This song has been going on for hours.
Homer: Yeah, it's like the Allman Brothers.
Kitenge:
Homer, no!
(Homer drums a hippo's bum)
Homer: (yelping) A hungry, hungry hippo! Help! Kitenge!
Kitenge: Now, Simpsons! Run for it!
Homer: Good old Kitenge.
Quick! Into the river! Hippos hate
water!
Lisa: No, they don't. They...
(Shrieks as Homer yanks
her aboard improvised shield raft.)
Kitenge: (watching from shore) Shaka Zulu!
Homer: Okay, here's the situation: We're hopelessly lost and about to die.
Homer: Don't worry. Being eaten by a crocodile is just like going to sleep... in a giant blender.
Bart & Lisa: Are we insane yet?
Are we insane yet?
Are we insane yet?
Homer: I told you, yes!
Homer: Now, Bart, go to the top of that hill and see if you can spot our
hotel.
Bart: Mount Kilimanjaro?
Homer: Go!
Bart: Okay.
Marge: A chimp!
Lisa: Hello, little fella.
Bart: Hey, maybe he'll lead us to bananas.
Homer: Or more mouth-watering monkeys.
Lisa: (Gasps) This is the place I've read about where Dr.
Bushwell lives among the chimps.
Marge: Oh, isn't that sweet? He named it after his wife.
Lisa: No, Dr. Bushwell's a woman.
Marge: Well, now I've heard everything.
Marge: It's kind of you to take us in, Dr. Bushwell.
Lisa: Your work has really inspired me, doctor and I love your sensible
ponytail.
Dr. Bushwell: Why, thank you.
(To chimp) See, Jojo, she likes it.
Dr.
Bushwell: Every day, I get up at 5:30 watch the chimps, eat a quick lunch of
roots and water then more chimp-watching. After dark, I come home and think
about chimps until it's time for bed.
Homer: You must be the most boring woman on earth.
Dr. Bushwell: Possibly, but...
Homer: I knew scientists wasted their lives, but geez!